Chana Masala (Spicy Chickpea Curry)

You will need:

1 onion
One can of diced tomatoes
two cans of tomato paste (one will be used as a back up for when the other one fails to open and you smash it into the wall)
some band aids
a can of chickpeas
1 tbs chana masala
1 tsp tumeric
1 tsp cumin
about 12 tbs of chili powder or something that actually has some taste to it> I think I may have used flour or something by accident.
salt and pepper
yogurt and lemon for garnishing

It's always a delight to wake up in the morning with a completely open day ahead of you and a clear craving of exactly what you want to have for dinner.
It get's a little frustrating when you make it to the grocery store only to realize that in order to eat anything indian you need to buy at least 8 different spices, all of which cost about 5 dollars per tiny bag.
This gets even more frustrating when you go home and drop half the spices down the kitchen sink.

Cumin will stain sinks and counter tops and should be avoided, even if it's the essential ingredient.

Anyway.

Once you've cleaned up all the cumin, tumeric, and chili powder, chop up your onion and fry it in a generous amount of butter on medium low heat.
Next, try to open up the cans of chickpeas, diced tomatoes, and tomato paste as quickly as you can so as not to burn the onions. This can be difficult with a can opener that doesn't work properly. When you inevitably break off your entire nail trying to pry the cans open yourself, patiently put on a band-aide and avoid throwing the tomato paste at the wall because this is a total waste of 88 cents.

Once your onions are completely burnt, or maybe ten minutes earlier, add all the spices except for the chana masala. Squish everything with a spatula for a while so that the onions get even more burnt.

Next, add the tomato sauce and chickpeas and cook everything until the chickpeas are warm. Add the chana masala, stir it all together, and serve over rice with a dollop of yogurt and a sprinkle of lemon. Check to make sure there are no fingernails floating around before you eat.