Choosing to be a vegetarian makes sense for someone who lives in constant fear of salmonella, but when one becomes a vegetarian it is important to note that most vegetables are also capable of killing you.
Take kidney beans for instance. Kidney beans are a lovely legume that taste good in basically anything and cost next to nothing. You can buy a huge bag of raw kidney beans for a couple bucks- canned beans are cheaper and easier to make, but canned things can give you botulism and should be avoided at all costs.
Kidney beans are filled with nutrients like iron, thiamin (Vitamin B1), folate, fibre and Phytohemagglutinin, a toxic compound that can cause "gas or in some cases death".
Google recipes forgot to mention this bit to me so here's some advice on how to properly cook beans.
Take two cups of beans and put them in a bowl. Cover the beans with lots of cold water and leave the beans to soak overnight. In the morning the beans should have absorbed all the water, softened up, and grown to be about twice their original size. If instead they've shrivelled up like mine did then you've done something wrong, but I don't know what.
Once the beans have soaked overnight, throw them in a pot and boil them for at least an hour. DO NOT TASTE TEST ANY BEANS BEFORE THE HOUR IS UP. EVEN EATING FOUR UNDERCOOKED BEANS CAN CAUSE VOMITING, ABDOMINAL PAIN, AND MANY OTHER BAD THINGS. I don't know why other recipes don't emphasize this important information.
When your beans are done, or you think they might be done because most likely they won't be done yet, cut one open with a fork. If it is creamy throughout the entire bean it's relatively safe to eat.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Peanut butter with Noodles
The other day I decided to make Pad Thai. I decided this at the grocery store and felt pretty confident about what making Pad Thai would entail. I didn't want to buy the packaged stuff because the 73% sodium content kind of defeated the purpose of cooking instead of ordering take-out, but I thought it would be clever to check what the packaged sauce was made of so that I could buy it all fresh and make it myself.
From what I remember, Pad Thai sauce is made out of:
- Salt
- Sugar
- Garlic salt
- Carbon Monoxomide
- Glucose frucomaul
- Hepoteral phosphate
- Sulphur Xylophone
- sucrose meth
- more salt
I didn't have any of this stuff at home and I didn't think Safeway sold sulphur xylophone so I bought a jar of peanut butter and a lime before going home.
I looked up some recipes for thai peanut sauce and most of them went something like this:
- 1 tbs peanut butter (optional)
- 1/2 a lime (optional)
- 1 hot pepper
- soy sauce
- Hoison sauce
- 2 cloves garlic
- apple cider vinegar or white vinegar
I decided recipes are useless anyway and proceeded to combine one cup of peanut butter and 1 lime in a bowl. I added salt because even though none of the recipes mentioned salt,the folks at A Taste Of Thai definitely thought some was necessary.
Then I cooked some vegetables in a pan (carrots, broccoli,onion and mushrooms), and added in the cup of peanut butter, and some coconut milk, before proceeding to cook the rice noodles just as one would cook pasta.
Rice noodles are not pasta.
They are supposed to be soaked in a hot bowl of water prior to use. Unfortunately I read this two seconds after throwing the noodles in boiling water, decided 2 seconds in boiling water was probably equivalent to twenty minutes in warm water, and drained the noodles before mixing it with the peanut sauce.
Needless to say this recipe did not turn out as I had imagined, but this is a really nice recipe for nights when you're craving a spoonful or twenty of peanut butter. The lime really compliments the peanut butter, overcooked vegetables and totally uncooked noodles for a truly unique taste.
From what I remember, Pad Thai sauce is made out of:
- Salt
- Sugar
- Garlic salt
- Carbon Monoxomide
- Glucose frucomaul
- Hepoteral phosphate
- Sulphur Xylophone
- sucrose meth
- more salt
I didn't have any of this stuff at home and I didn't think Safeway sold sulphur xylophone so I bought a jar of peanut butter and a lime before going home.
I looked up some recipes for thai peanut sauce and most of them went something like this:
- 1 tbs peanut butter (optional)
- 1/2 a lime (optional)
- 1 hot pepper
- soy sauce
- Hoison sauce
- 2 cloves garlic
- apple cider vinegar or white vinegar
I decided recipes are useless anyway and proceeded to combine one cup of peanut butter and 1 lime in a bowl. I added salt because even though none of the recipes mentioned salt,the folks at A Taste Of Thai definitely thought some was necessary.
Then I cooked some vegetables in a pan (carrots, broccoli,onion and mushrooms), and added in the cup of peanut butter, and some coconut milk, before proceeding to cook the rice noodles just as one would cook pasta.
Rice noodles are not pasta.
They are supposed to be soaked in a hot bowl of water prior to use. Unfortunately I read this two seconds after throwing the noodles in boiling water, decided 2 seconds in boiling water was probably equivalent to twenty minutes in warm water, and drained the noodles before mixing it with the peanut sauce.
Needless to say this recipe did not turn out as I had imagined, but this is a really nice recipe for nights when you're craving a spoonful or twenty of peanut butter. The lime really compliments the peanut butter, overcooked vegetables and totally uncooked noodles for a truly unique taste.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Gazpacho
It's been a while since I've written on this blog and to be honest that's because I've gotten a lot better at cooking and people that know how to cook aren't funny they're just annoyingly impressive. Plus people aren't interested in sub par cooks, they're only interested in Jamie Olivers (but that's probably because he's a cute brit and a gardener.
Still, this blog has kind of done for me what it was meant to do- it got me into cooking and I learn lots about cooking every single time I make something. Now that I'll be moving out again soon there'll be plenty of time for more recipes.
Lately I've been making lots of things with tomatoes. I don't really understand people who don't like tomatoes. It's like saying they don't like wine, or dark chocolate, or The Beatles. I can't think of a single food that doesn't taste better by adding either tomatoes or ketchup.
Here's a really tasty gazpacho recipe that actually works every time, probably because it involves no cooking at all.
Serves 1 (I'm finally getting the hang of cooking for one!!!)
You will need:
2 small tomatoes diced
1 cucumber diced
half a carrot diced
1/4 of a red and yellow pepper
1/4 purple onion diced
1/8 of a jalapeno pepper- not deseeded if you like spicy! and finely chopped
tiny handful of chili flakes
salt and pepper to taste
some chopped cilantro
1-2 cloves garlic
1/2 an avocado chopped
3 capfuls of clamato juice (or more depending on how soupy you want it- I like mine to be more like a salad than a soup
juice of 1/2 a lemon
Finely dice all your veggies and toss them in a bowl. Do not put through the blender!! This completely ruins a perfectly delicious salad- it turns all the crisp vegetables into a pile of soggy, unidentifiable $%*t.
Squeeze the lemon juice over the salad and add the clamato juice. You don't really need to put any salt on after this unless you're a cryer and feel salt deficient. Clamato juice is already super salty.
And that's it! Eat up!
Still, this blog has kind of done for me what it was meant to do- it got me into cooking and I learn lots about cooking every single time I make something. Now that I'll be moving out again soon there'll be plenty of time for more recipes.
Lately I've been making lots of things with tomatoes. I don't really understand people who don't like tomatoes. It's like saying they don't like wine, or dark chocolate, or The Beatles. I can't think of a single food that doesn't taste better by adding either tomatoes or ketchup.
Here's a really tasty gazpacho recipe that actually works every time, probably because it involves no cooking at all.
Serves 1 (I'm finally getting the hang of cooking for one!!!)
You will need:
2 small tomatoes diced
1 cucumber diced
half a carrot diced
1/4 of a red and yellow pepper
1/4 purple onion diced
1/8 of a jalapeno pepper- not deseeded if you like spicy! and finely chopped
tiny handful of chili flakes
salt and pepper to taste
some chopped cilantro
1-2 cloves garlic
1/2 an avocado chopped
3 capfuls of clamato juice (or more depending on how soupy you want it- I like mine to be more like a salad than a soup
juice of 1/2 a lemon
Finely dice all your veggies and toss them in a bowl. Do not put through the blender!! This completely ruins a perfectly delicious salad- it turns all the crisp vegetables into a pile of soggy, unidentifiable $%*t.
Squeeze the lemon juice over the salad and add the clamato juice. You don't really need to put any salt on after this unless you're a cryer and feel salt deficient. Clamato juice is already super salty.
And that's it! Eat up!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
The George Foreman
The other day my mom told me she had an incredibly realistic dream about me, where I tried to cook soup on a george foreman grill and she nearly had an aneurism. Her story interested me because the day before that I cooked chicken on a George Foreman grill decided I'd never cook anything without it ever again. I would really like to meet George Foreman and shake his hand for making it physically impossible for me to destroy and more recipes.
Here's why the grill is the best invention next to cinnamon buns:
First off, The Grill has no on or off button, all you have to do is plug it in and wait for it to heat up.
Second, The Grill lights up when its hot enough for use, and it turns off again when its SOMEHOW determined your food is ready.
It's absolutely mind blowing.
So its been a while since I've made anything bad and that's why I've been away for so long. It's possible I'll never make anything bad again, and I just wanted to explain to everyone why that is.
Tonight I made a delicious yet uneventful breakfast wrap. If you'd like to make one as delicious as mine you will need:
1) A George Foreman Grill (a stove, oven, microwave, toaster oven, or just your standard bbq grill won't work)
2) A wrap (I used one with flaxseeds, because those are supposed to do something beneficial to your body)
3) one egg
4) ham
5) cheese
6) tomato
7) spinach
Fry the egg.
Wrap it all in a wrap. Put it on the George Foreman.
That is literally all you have to do.
IT'S AMAZING.
Here's why the grill is the best invention next to cinnamon buns:
First off, The Grill has no on or off button, all you have to do is plug it in and wait for it to heat up.
Second, The Grill lights up when its hot enough for use, and it turns off again when its SOMEHOW determined your food is ready.
It's absolutely mind blowing.
So its been a while since I've made anything bad and that's why I've been away for so long. It's possible I'll never make anything bad again, and I just wanted to explain to everyone why that is.
Tonight I made a delicious yet uneventful breakfast wrap. If you'd like to make one as delicious as mine you will need:
1) A George Foreman Grill (a stove, oven, microwave, toaster oven, or just your standard bbq grill won't work)
2) A wrap (I used one with flaxseeds, because those are supposed to do something beneficial to your body)
3) one egg
4) ham
5) cheese
6) tomato
7) spinach
Fry the egg.
Wrap it all in a wrap. Put it on the George Foreman.
That is literally all you have to do.
IT'S AMAZING.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Thai Coconut Curry With Everything You Have Left In Your Fridge Which Isn't Much But Will Do.
I've made it my new goal to stop throwing out food. This doesn't mean I've overcome my food poisoning fear, because I still don't plan on eating anything that's been in my fridge for more than three days. It just means I'm going to make sure nothing stays in my fridge that long. This has been a bit difficult for me (I've had to eat a LOT of yogurt this week) but making meals that use up lots of vegetables (basically curry and stir fry) has made it easier!
So last night I decided to make some Thai curry and I can honestly say very little went wrong with this recipe, although my boyfriend did call it bland. This is OK though because he burnt off his taste buds years ago when he started putting hot sauce on everything (including cake), so he doesn't really get to have an opinion.
You will need:
- 1 can coconut milk
- 1 cup water
- 1 tbs curry paste
-1 onion
- Everything in your fridge (yogurt, potatoes carrots, tofu, red peppers, mushrooms, garlic, green beans)
- spices- I ventured away from salt and pepper this time and used cumin, tumeric, and curry powder
First cook the onion and curry paste together in oil on medium low heat, stirring for a few minutes.
Next add the coconut milk and 1 cup of water and bring it up to a boil. Add in your spices and once everything boiling turn it down again and let everything simmer
I have no idea why this step is necessary but that is what the cooking books tell me to do.
Anyway.
Put in the potatoes first and let them simmer for about five minutes. While it's simmering, chop up your vegetables in order from hardest to softest and add them in that same order. Keep in mind green beans are harder than mushrooms. I forgot about this so my green beans were like rocks and my mushrooms basically melted but that's ok.
Normally once you've finished this you should let everything simmer for 10 minutes, but if you're slow at chopping vegetables everything will be mush by the time you're done so just take it all off the stove as soon as you can.
While all this is going on fry up some tofu in a separate pan. Let the oil get really hot before you throw the tofu on so that it will get nice and crispy, then turn the temperature down a little bit so the tofu cooks through. When its ready put it in the curry with everything else and serve over rice with a dollop of yogurt on top!
So last night I decided to make some Thai curry and I can honestly say very little went wrong with this recipe, although my boyfriend did call it bland. This is OK though because he burnt off his taste buds years ago when he started putting hot sauce on everything (including cake), so he doesn't really get to have an opinion.
You will need:
- 1 can coconut milk
- 1 cup water
- 1 tbs curry paste
-1 onion
- Everything in your fridge (yogurt, potatoes carrots, tofu, red peppers, mushrooms, garlic, green beans)
- spices- I ventured away from salt and pepper this time and used cumin, tumeric, and curry powder
First cook the onion and curry paste together in oil on medium low heat, stirring for a few minutes.
Next add the coconut milk and 1 cup of water and bring it up to a boil. Add in your spices and once everything boiling turn it down again and let everything simmer
I have no idea why this step is necessary but that is what the cooking books tell me to do.
Anyway.
Put in the potatoes first and let them simmer for about five minutes. While it's simmering, chop up your vegetables in order from hardest to softest and add them in that same order. Keep in mind green beans are harder than mushrooms. I forgot about this so my green beans were like rocks and my mushrooms basically melted but that's ok.
Normally once you've finished this you should let everything simmer for 10 minutes, but if you're slow at chopping vegetables everything will be mush by the time you're done so just take it all off the stove as soon as you can.
While all this is going on fry up some tofu in a separate pan. Let the oil get really hot before you throw the tofu on so that it will get nice and crispy, then turn the temperature down a little bit so the tofu cooks through. When its ready put it in the curry with everything else and serve over rice with a dollop of yogurt on top!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Chana Masala (Spicy Chickpea Curry)
You will need:
1 onion
One can of diced tomatoes
two cans of tomato paste (one will be used as a back up for when the other one fails to open and you smash it into the wall)
some band aids
a can of chickpeas
1 tbs chana masala
1 tsp tumeric
1 tsp cumin
about 12 tbs of chili powder or something that actually has some taste to it> I think I may have used flour or something by accident.
salt and pepper
yogurt and lemon for garnishing
It's always a delight to wake up in the morning with a completely open day ahead of you and a clear craving of exactly what you want to have for dinner.
It get's a little frustrating when you make it to the grocery store only to realize that in order to eat anything indian you need to buy at least 8 different spices, all of which cost about 5 dollars per tiny bag.
This gets even more frustrating when you go home and drop half the spices down the kitchen sink.
Cumin will stain sinks and counter tops and should be avoided, even if it's the essential ingredient.
Anyway.
Once you've cleaned up all the cumin, tumeric, and chili powder, chop up your onion and fry it in a generous amount of butter on medium low heat.
Next, try to open up the cans of chickpeas, diced tomatoes, and tomato paste as quickly as you can so as not to burn the onions. This can be difficult with a can opener that doesn't work properly. When you inevitably break off your entire nail trying to pry the cans open yourself, patiently put on a band-aide and avoid throwing the tomato paste at the wall because this is a total waste of 88 cents.
Once your onions are completely burnt, or maybe ten minutes earlier, add all the spices except for the chana masala. Squish everything with a spatula for a while so that the onions get even more burnt.
Next, add the tomato sauce and chickpeas and cook everything until the chickpeas are warm. Add the chana masala, stir it all together, and serve over rice with a dollop of yogurt and a sprinkle of lemon. Check to make sure there are no fingernails floating around before you eat.
1 onion
One can of diced tomatoes
two cans of tomato paste (one will be used as a back up for when the other one fails to open and you smash it into the wall)
some band aids
a can of chickpeas
1 tbs chana masala
1 tsp tumeric
1 tsp cumin
about 12 tbs of chili powder or something that actually has some taste to it> I think I may have used flour or something by accident.
salt and pepper
yogurt and lemon for garnishing
It's always a delight to wake up in the morning with a completely open day ahead of you and a clear craving of exactly what you want to have for dinner.
It get's a little frustrating when you make it to the grocery store only to realize that in order to eat anything indian you need to buy at least 8 different spices, all of which cost about 5 dollars per tiny bag.
This gets even more frustrating when you go home and drop half the spices down the kitchen sink.
Cumin will stain sinks and counter tops and should be avoided, even if it's the essential ingredient.
Anyway.
Once you've cleaned up all the cumin, tumeric, and chili powder, chop up your onion and fry it in a generous amount of butter on medium low heat.
Next, try to open up the cans of chickpeas, diced tomatoes, and tomato paste as quickly as you can so as not to burn the onions. This can be difficult with a can opener that doesn't work properly. When you inevitably break off your entire nail trying to pry the cans open yourself, patiently put on a band-aide and avoid throwing the tomato paste at the wall because this is a total waste of 88 cents.
Once your onions are completely burnt, or maybe ten minutes earlier, add all the spices except for the chana masala. Squish everything with a spatula for a while so that the onions get even more burnt.
Next, add the tomato sauce and chickpeas and cook everything until the chickpeas are warm. Add the chana masala, stir it all together, and serve over rice with a dollop of yogurt and a sprinkle of lemon. Check to make sure there are no fingernails floating around before you eat.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Tuna Melt
I spent my whole morning cleaning the kitchen and trying to make it smell better by throwing baking soda and lemon juice all over the place. Naturally, half way through I got bored of cleaning and decided to stink up the entire place with tuna, which I don't even like.
I guess my decision to make tuna was influenced by my brother. He likes to remind me whenever he gets the chance that I have a very unhealthy diet with zero variety. Whenever my family goes out for dinner he'll leap at the opportunity to use my order (which is almost always french fries) as evidence. I basically force feed myself horrible things when he's around to make him proud.
One of the things he insists I should eat more of is tuna. I think tuna is the grossest thing ever invented, and until today I stayed away from it at all costs. But lately I've been hearing a lot of hype about tuna melts and how they are the best comfort food ever. Since I really love grilled cheese sandwiches I thought maybe I could silence my brother once and for all if I just snuck some tuna in there.
Tuna melts are not grilled cheese sandwiches.
They are salty (I don't know WHY most recipes call for salt and pepper, as I'm pretty sure tuna just soaks in a can of salt for its entire shelf life), mushy, slimy, smelly, and just altogether bad.
Then again, I was the one that made this sandwich so I suppose I shouldn't assume all tuna melts are gross.
Anyway, here's the recipe for those of you who (god forbid) want to make a tuna melt just like mine.
- 2 slices of bread
- 1 can of tuna
- mayo
- dijon mustard
- one slice any kind of cheese, I used marble because I can never decide between mozzarella or cheddar
- two slices of tomato
- butter
Melt a fair amount of butter on a pan and put one slice of bread on the pan. Put a slice of cheese on the bread and while that starts to sizzle make a tuna salad. Put tuna in a bowl and mix in some mayo and dijon mustard. I think I used more mustard than tuna which is something you want to avoid doing. Once your tuna salad is ready put it on top of the cheese and throw your sliced tomatoes on top of the tuna. Put on another slice of bread and by this time the sandwich should be ready to flip. Flip your sandwich, let the other side get golden brown or burnt, (whatever you like/what your cooking skills will allow), and your disgusting lunch will be ready.
I guess my decision to make tuna was influenced by my brother. He likes to remind me whenever he gets the chance that I have a very unhealthy diet with zero variety. Whenever my family goes out for dinner he'll leap at the opportunity to use my order (which is almost always french fries) as evidence. I basically force feed myself horrible things when he's around to make him proud.
One of the things he insists I should eat more of is tuna. I think tuna is the grossest thing ever invented, and until today I stayed away from it at all costs. But lately I've been hearing a lot of hype about tuna melts and how they are the best comfort food ever. Since I really love grilled cheese sandwiches I thought maybe I could silence my brother once and for all if I just snuck some tuna in there.
Tuna melts are not grilled cheese sandwiches.
They are salty (I don't know WHY most recipes call for salt and pepper, as I'm pretty sure tuna just soaks in a can of salt for its entire shelf life), mushy, slimy, smelly, and just altogether bad.
Then again, I was the one that made this sandwich so I suppose I shouldn't assume all tuna melts are gross.
Anyway, here's the recipe for those of you who (god forbid) want to make a tuna melt just like mine.
- 2 slices of bread
- 1 can of tuna
- mayo
- dijon mustard
- one slice any kind of cheese, I used marble because I can never decide between mozzarella or cheddar
- two slices of tomato
- butter
Melt a fair amount of butter on a pan and put one slice of bread on the pan. Put a slice of cheese on the bread and while that starts to sizzle make a tuna salad. Put tuna in a bowl and mix in some mayo and dijon mustard. I think I used more mustard than tuna which is something you want to avoid doing. Once your tuna salad is ready put it on top of the cheese and throw your sliced tomatoes on top of the tuna. Put on another slice of bread and by this time the sandwich should be ready to flip. Flip your sandwich, let the other side get golden brown or burnt, (whatever you like/what your cooking skills will allow), and your disgusting lunch will be ready.
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